Wild Jamaican Romances (Atlantic, 1991)

Lieutenant Stitchie emerged in the mid-'80s as one of the hottest DJs in the early digital dancehall era, and although he never received the notoriety that Shabba Ranks did (quick, name a Lieutenant Stitchie song), he was, along with Shabba and Buju Banton, one of the very few dancehall artists to release multiple major-label albums (three of 'em) in the groundbreaking early '90s. A major label, however, can't guarantee anything other than good production values, and Wild Jamaican Romances is one of the worst of the era. It starts off with the generic "Hot House Party" and goes downhill quickly. As if "Night and Day" isn't grating enough of a pop confection (riding what sounds like the bass line to the Staples Singers' "I'll Take You There"), it begins with a cringe-worthy dialogue between Stitchie and his "woman" as he begs her to forgive him. If only this song were forgivable. Speaking of cringing, Stitchie follows up by rapping through the ridiculous-as-it-sounds "The Governor's in the House" over a watered-down Public Enemy-styled hip-hop beat. It's enough to make you yearn for the generic dancehall of "Hot House Party," "Rough, Tough, Rough," and "Woman fe Get Lyrics." Unfortunately, he shifts into lover man mode for "Romance," the R&B ballad "Do You Feel Love," and "The Things You Do," another flaccid dip into rap that borrows the chorus from Boz Scaggs' "Lowdown." The best that Stitichie has to offer here are quirky dancehall tracks with Papa San-ish verbal gymnastics, namely "Hustling," "Heated Love," and "The Sugar Cane Song," which delivers wink-wink sexual references to "sugar cane":

The sugar cane loved by every woman;
Some love it big, some love it long.
The sugar cane plant, it grows stiff and firm,
And when you eat it, you wiggle like worm.

I don't know too many men who would be down with a woman eating their cane, but to each his own. It's interesing that both Carlene Davis and Stitchie, two of the less-popular artists with major-label releases in the early '90s, would later convert to gospel reggae. Maybe they're repenting for the crimes against humanity that their respective albums committed.